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i will trust the course of time

by tetrapod

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1.
introduction 03:50
[griffin: "this is just the first thing i played upon picking up a banjo." "wait, no. that's not right."] seagull sounds and people downstairs your heater comes on, hums at me time runs still when light through windows dips the ceiling you are sleeping reset round the seasons wound on springs they circle certainly soon i’ll go but for the moment, i’m not leaving you’re still sleeping ["oops"]
2.
and a storm burst through my bedroom door it flooded my bedroom floor and the rain came more as the storm ran out of room to pour i grabbed at a broom for an oar and i sailed for shore baby i’ve been trying so hard at change but baby the only way i found so far is to estrange i’ve got to get out of this rain that you keep in tow and i’ve been learning not to let you in from the cold and the storm it’s filling up fed the moat i’ve been teaching my bed to float teach it where to go in your storm i am fighting your ocean’s flow i have bound myself to my boat and now i must row baby there are so many things to now forget and baby there are some things not drowning yet but i will shiver numb and wet when your old winds blow so i’ve been learning not to let you in from the cold in the storm i have sailed across half the globe and what little i have to show for it’s sinking low in your storm but i will sternly hold out my hope that someday soon off my bow will swim a safe atoll and baby when it does, i’ll sing a song for land and baby i’ll build a house however long it stands so the walls will line the sand there to tell you no 'cause i’ve been learning not to let you in from the cold yeah, i’ve been learning not to let you in from the cold i’ve been learning, babe, not to let you come home i’ve been learning not to let you in from the cold
3.
passage 02:39
4.
feel 04:03
tell me what i’m allowed to say and tell me what you felt, the other day healthy is a wily game to play but tell me, do you feel okay? and tell me what i’m supposed to do you’re the captain, babe, i look to you tell me and i will follow through if you tell me something true you’ll say hey there, kid that’s much too big to put that weight on me but hey there, kid the future’s hid we’ll just have to wait and see so tell me how to open up my eyes ’til that day comes, babe, i’m newborn and blind naïve, i will trust the course of time i know you’re a friend of mine through darkest glass and tallest grass we will go by feel mumble and laugh stumbling off the path we will fumble and feel forget my size, i forget my name in my mind, i’ve a slighter frame, so realize it’s not my aim if china’s crushed beneath my heel as we go by feel through darkest glass and tallest grass we will go by feel mumble and laugh stumbling off the path we will go by feel so speak aloud what i’m allowed to feel speak aloud what i’m allowed to feel speak aloud what i’m allowed to feel, feel, feel
5.
coral reef 02:23
6.
book of life 02:40
in my life there are crumbles and cracks in my life there are records and facts in my life there are pages in black in the stories we tell ourselves in my life there are spaces i’ve been in my life there are rooms i can see in my life they are realer to me than the stories we tell ourselves i don’t know why i go to school i don’t know what i’m trying to do you are up to something different and it seems so cool for you in my life there are crumbles and cracks in my life there are records and facts the water rises and blots out the maps can you tell me what you’re going to do? can you tell me what you’re going to do?
7.
tragedy ann 04:10
take a tumble out of comfortable trouble into raging wrack and rumble in the oceanic puddle let it catch you in a bubble and the trouble, it will crumple it’s a rag doll so hold your head up, doll make a raggedy stand and when you smack the wall you’re the one we’ll call tragedy ann everyone thinks they should try to steal a hint of you every conversation will try to sneak an interview and every word tonight becomes the whirr of a knife how can they come to you for comfort when they come for your life? so hold your head up, doll make a raggedy stand and when you smack the wall you’re the one we’ll call tragedy ann why do iron nettles stick their metal into you? do they put the pedal to some meddling to do? you got spurs and spikes they turn to spurn and spite but there’s a magnet in the cotton near your button sight so hold your head up, doll make a raggedy stand and when you smack the wall you’re the one we’ll call tragedy ann so take a tumble out of comfortable trouble into raging wrack and rumble in the oceanic puddle let it catch you in a bubble and the trouble, it might double rag doll stumbles through the jungle but the world will keep her humble so hold your head up, doll make a raggedy stand and when you smack the wall you’re the one we’ll call when the night goes falling on the cold, dark land so hold your head up, doll make a raggedy stand on the night you fall you’re the one we’ll call you know after all we were born to crawl hold your head up, doll tragedy ann hold your head up, doll
8.
surfing 03:16
down the river by the bay the runoff splashes and the trash is washed away where did all my friends go? something has gone wrong everybody’s gone surfing everybody’s gone california californ-i-a we played with matches now the ashes wash away where did all my friends go? what’s going on? everybody’s gone surfing everybody’s gone
9.
fairylights 02:41
past celebration in the gauzy, sweet-scent heliotrope and the fire that flickers and bends mid-conversation at a quiet moment, i should say that i value these moments with friends
10.
sunset the water’s on fire from out ‘cross the inlet casting the lines of a wiry silhouette catching the eyes with the reflected light night sits perched on the edge of the sunset’s horizon searching for sailors to guide up the island riding the line of the water and sky and in the night there is a bolt of light and then the pouring rain then the earth will slide and the trees will lie and the path will change oceans break on the shore, and it’s sure to be broken sanded and worn by the constant commotion all things must fall to erosion in time and as the waters rise o, i said that i i would sing a song for land and so many times i have gone and tried but it’s never long as planned i know i’m going, but where do i go? i know i’m going, but where do i go? o, where do i go, o, where do i go? i don’t know where do i go? i know i’m going, but where do i go? i know i’m going, but where do i go? o, where do i go, o, where do i go? i don’t know where do i go? i know i’m going, but where do i go? i know i’m going, but where do i go? o, where do i go, o, where do i go? i don’t know where do i, where do i–– and you and i have no choice but to dive into the flow of the water, of time and for our lives that, we can’t deny so i’ll just bid you good tide and goodbye

about

🜄

this is a collection of songs i wrote (mostly) in 2018 and 2019, when i’d write about water and friendship and time. the original versions of some were lost forever, when my laptop was stolen from the house on the cover, summer 2019. now that old world feels equally unreachable, lost to the unpredictable flow of time.

today, my 22nd birthday, felt like an appropriate time to release these songs.

as i age another year, i will trust the course of time.

credits

released October 29, 2020

ben stewart: composition, recording, production
lucy duda: violin (1-7, 10), electric violin (1-2, 5-6)
griffin plaag: harmony vocals (1-2, 10), banjo (1-2), co-composition (1)
lily porter wright: mandolin (10)

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tetrapod New York

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